Phrases I'd Like to Someday Use In a Real Conversation

As the title of this post suggests, here is a collection of phrases that I think sound cool and I would like to say without it sounding forced or insincere:

"The end justifies the means."

"At last. At long last, the transformation is complete."

"Put that gun away!"

"I never knew we had a basement!"

"I can still see it with my waking eyes."

"This ranch isn't for sale."

"I never would have believed it if I hadn't seen it with my own eyes."

"How much time passed between when the spider bit your cheek and when the nest ruptured, sending dozens of spider babies crawling into your eyes and nostrils?"

"Six feet is deep enough isn't it?"

"I always thought those could fly."

"Why don't you just die?"

"Even the Amish bathe."

"Which way is up?"

"I never thought I'd see you again."

"It can smell your fear."

"Six feet is never enough. Keep digging."

"I still say that mistletoe is edible and delicious!"

"Say that again and you'll be wearing dentures."

"Where is the U.S. embassy?"

"I already wear dentures, so THERE!"

"MUST... ESCAPE... DIMENSIONAL... VORTEX!!"

"Thanks and you folks have a great night. By the way, I spit in your meal and I'm quitting tonight anyway."

"It's okay, I guess. It's just that I was really was going for that Cyndi Lauper look."

"Today? Why, it's Christmas day, sir!"

"Here, take my card."

"High Definition is neither."

"You do realize that was a slug, right? Just checking."

"It's your turn to flip her and check for bedsores. I'm tired of driving the forklift. I'm not even certified!"

"I stand corrected. It didn't taste very good at all. By the way, could you please call poison control?"